didntrun: (70)
Eddie Munson ([personal profile] didntrun) wrote2022-08-13 10:20 am
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Eddie has to wonder how many people get to Darrow and end up with a date within a month. He likes to think, even if it's not true, that he's just that smooth.

By the time he figured out how to make the call to Jules, a few days had gone by, but at least she seemed to think it was funny that he didn't know how to work the thing. He'd needed Harrington to help him with it in the end, which was humiliating, but also kind of funny in its way. Shit like that, it makes him wonder what the people of Hawkins would think and just how much they'd hate this place, guys like Eddie and Steve talking to each other, Eddie hanging around Chrissy, and Chrissy actually seeming to want him to.

They'd lose their minds.

Stuff like that buoys Eddie's mood and he looks at himself in the mirror of the bathroom, giving his hair a bit of a fluff before he leaves the apartment, locking the door behind him. He doesn't have a ride here, which sucks, but the Home isn't that far, so he walks, then heads right inside to pick up Jules. It doesn't occur to him to use the phone to let her know he's arrived, so someone working at the front desk has to go get her.

Eddie's plan isn't spectacular, but he's taken time. Jules isn't eighteen yet, which rules out one of the clubs, but he's found another place that has an all-ages night and that's where they're headed. Eddie leans against the front desk as he waits, then waves at a little kid staring at him from the doorway of what looks like a rec room.
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-08-14 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
The thing is, Jules has never really gone on a lot of conventional dates. The vast majority of her experience has involved one-night stands with guys she found on queer hookup apps, good for a quick fuck and then no one she'd have to talk to again. Rue was different, of course, but they still didn't really do a whole lot of going out in that sense. Tyler was also different, because Tyler wasn't real.

Tonight, she doesn't want to think too much about either of them. With both, she got in way over her head way too quickly, and with both, she got her heart badly broken as a result. She would much rather just have fun tonight than go down that road. And Eddie seems fun, which is really a big part of the appeal. He's cute and easy to talk to, and he already knows she's got a ton of relationship baggage, and with any luck, he'll want to take her home with him at the end of the night. Assuming this all goes well, it's kind of perfect.

Well, except for the part where she lives in a stupid fucking home for children because she's just barely technically a minor, but at least Eddie doesn't seem too put off by that. Hopefully it won't get in the way of how she would like this evening to end. Wearing a neon blue skater dress over fishnets and combat boots, with her hair in a messy bun, she grins at him as she heads into the lobby. "Hey," she says. "Come on, I am dying to get out of here."
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-08-15 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
At that, Jules rolls her eyes, though it's good-natured, accompanied by a smile. If anything, despite how much she hates the fact that she's just this side of underaged, it's sort of nice, in a novel way, that he's actually taking that into consideration while not being deterred by it. She's never really been much of a drinker anyway, except when things are really fucking bad, which they currently aren't. There's plenty of shit she wants to take her mind off, but she has other ways of doing that tonight — good company in the form of a cute guy, a club to go to, and maybe, with any luck, more later. In that regard, she's trying not to get too far ahead of herself, knowing there's a conversation they'll need to have first, but it's at least a possibility.

"Sounds perfect," she says as she steps past him through the doorway, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she does. "God, I can't wait to turn eighteen and get the fuck out of this place." She doesn't know what she'll do, other than wanting it to involve art; she has no idea how she'll support herself. Being watched over like a child, though, when she hasn't felt like one in a long time, is deeply uncomfortable, reminds her too much of the Unit.

She shakes her head a little, breathing in the warm summer evening air, looking over at Eddie with a smile. "Thanks for not being weird about that, by the way."
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-08-16 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
"It's in February," Jules says with a shrug. Not too soon, but not terribly far off, either. She'll be able to move out of the Home before she graduates, so that's something. Back home, she hadn't felt the same anticipation to turn eighteen, or really even to move away, despite the night she ran off and Rue was supposed to come with her. For the most part, things were fine, even good, living with her dad. Here, though, it's different. She feels confined in a way she didn't before, too much freedom stripped away, and she fucking hates it.

"And no, it's not weird, I agree," she adds, letting out a slight laugh. "But some guys would act like it is." Others would take her at her word when she claimed to be substantially older, clearly not wanting to give it too much thought and consider what that might say about them. "Or be really turned off by the whole living at the stupid fucking Children's Home thing."
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-08-16 08:52 pm (UTC)(link)
"Shit, as long as your uncle wasn't actually, like, right there, why should it matter?" Jules asks with a laugh. She's known for a long time that her family was well-off financially, especially as she got into her teenage years and began to transition. She knows, too, how lucky that makes her, giving her an advantage that a lot of other people don't have. Judging someone else for their lack of it just seems stupid to her. It's not like where a person lives really determines anything about them.

That subject brings her to another she's been mentally circling, though, and she figures that now is as good a time as any to get it out of the way. Better to do it early, after all, than risk winding up disappointed later. "So, cards on the table, I am definitely in favor of heading back not to the Children's Home later," she says, giving him a crooked smile. "But there is something you should probably know first."
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-08-18 03:42 am (UTC)(link)
"That's me, woman of mystery," Jules replies, her voice taking a slightly dramatic tone for those last few words, even as she shoots him a teasing grin. Truthfully, she doesn't know how mysterious she actually is. In a lot of ways, she feels like an open book, someone who wears her heart on her sleeve and doesn't really give a fuck about people's judgment. On the other hand, though, there's a lot of shit she just doesn't talk about, things she keeps buried beneath carefully curated surface layers.

She's trying to do less of that these days, or at least not to let those layers — to let her femininity itself — be shaped by what she thinks men will want or expect. She's no one's dream girl; she's just herself. And, hopefully, Eddie won't have an issue with all of what that entails.

"So, uh, anyway," she continues, only slightly awkward because she really doesn't know how this is going to go. "I'm trans. I was, uh, assigned male at birth. Which, clearly that didn't stick, I started transitioning years ago, I'm on hormones and shit. But the only actual surgery I've had is a boob job, so, you know." She shrugs. "Figured you should know before taking me home with you."

Casual as she might sound, it isn't really something she can take too lightly. She's heard far too many horror stories for that. Besides, she wouldn't want to go out with someone who'd be an asshole about her gender. At least if it's going to be an issue, she'll know now, before they go any further.
Edited 2022-08-18 07:37 (UTC)
astheocean: (203)

[personal profile] astheocean 2022-08-19 07:32 pm (UTC)(link)
"Still pretty shitty," Jules says with a rueful little smile, "but yeah, less so." It's a relief, and she can't pretend otherwise, that he doesn't seem to be shitty about stuff like that. She hasn't gotten that impression, or she wouldn't be going out with him at all, but she's still aware that he's from a small town in the midwest in the '80s, which is kind of the perfect breeding ground for prejudice that could be dangerous for her. Even coming from a liberal, coastal town nearly forty years later, that's at least part of the reason why the vast majority of her hookups have been arranged on queer dating apps.

She's fortunate, she knows, to pass; she also knows that any kind of passing privilege is a double-edged sword, and that there's a long history of men getting angry, getting violent, when they think they've been tricked or misled by someone who doesn't fit the narrow confines of what they allow themselves to consider a woman.

At least, whatever happens next, it seems like she can trust Eddie to be cool about it, which is all that really matters. "If you're not, you know, into that, it's totally fine. We can still have a good time tonight."
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-08-23 12:29 am (UTC)(link)
"No, I get you," Jules assures him, laughing warmly. It's not what she's telling him, but there is still an appropriate comparison there. The body she was born with has no bearing on what her gender is, but even without bringing identity into it, there are plenty of people for whom the physical mechanics do affect attraction and interest. She isn't generally one of them, but she wouldn't have held it against him if he were, since he still seems totally accepting of what she's told him about herself. That's the part that really counts.

If anything, it kind of helps knowing that he's hooked up with guys before. Had a thing isn't much to go on, but maybe he won't be totally clueless if they do take this back to his place later.

"And don't worry, I wouldn't have thought you were," she adds, swaying sideways to nudge his shoulder with her own. "Definitely would not have said yes to going out with you otherwise."
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-08-24 07:42 am (UTC)(link)
"You can ask whatever," Jules promises, her smile easy and a little amused. "If it's too personal, I'll tell you, but I really don't mind talking about it or anything." It's the sort of thing, too, where intent makes a big difference. Pointed questions for the sake of prying or being judgmental would probably put her off, but she's pretty sure Eddie is just curious. While he may not be just a typical midwestern small town guy from the eighties, that is still where and when he's from. Considering how shitty education about it is even in her own time, she wouldn't be surprised at all, or bothered, if there are things he needs to ask about.

This particular question is an easy one, too, something that's just been a part of her life for the last few years. "And yeah, some people have been shitty about it," she answers. "Especially early on. But I've been really lucky, too. Living in more liberal areas, having support at home. A lot of people don't get that."
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-08-25 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
"Pretty young," Jules answers, expression thoughtful and earnest when she glances over at him. "At first, I didn't... know-know. I just knew I hated my body — like, everything about it — and that it never really felt like mine. I knew the things I liked, and the places I felt like I fit, weren't the expected ones. And I was... really, really unhappy."

If anything, she thinks that's an understatement, but she figures that's not a part of the story she needs to get into. He didn't ask about her mental health history, even if the two are pretty entwined.

"So I guess there wasn't, like, one lightbulb moment or anything. But I'd figured it out by the time I was in middle school, and then I actually started transitioning when I was thirteen." Just the fact of that, she knows, makes her really fortunate. "And now, ta-da."
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-10-03 06:49 pm (UTC)(link)
"It was," Jules admits with a slight shrug, not about to pretend otherwise even if the difficulty of it isn't something she tends to dwell on. It wouldn't be worth it to do so. As far as the transition itself goes, that was the easiest part, and she knows that, in a lot of ways, she was lucky. She had a parent who accepted and supported her; she could be out without any particular danger to her well-being. Some people might always be assholes, but if the worst she ever had to deal with was benign ignorance, then that makes her phenomenally fortunate.

Everything else, really, was what became difficult. Her brain, her home life before it was just her and her dad. Those are the parts that she would rather not get into.

"And there's still stuff I'm figuring out. Gender is… a total headfuck, you know? Even when you know who you are and how you identify, there's still so much to wade through, and all these ideas people have about what that should mean. And, yeah, most of it's bullshit, but trying to work out what it means for you in the middle of all that…"

Trailing off, she gives him a crooked, almost teasing smile. "Hell of a conversation for the first time you take a girl out, huh?"
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-10-07 04:18 pm (UTC)(link)
"Yeah, I think I know the one," Jules says dryly, rolling her eyes, though it's not directed at him and her tone is still good-natured. It's not like he's the one going around saying shit like that, after all, and she's more than a little used to it — both the slur itself and the shitty mindset behind it. Maybe he didn't feel the way he did, but that doesn't mean there isn't still plenty there to deal with.

"And that's exactly what I mean, sort of. No matter how you feel, it's fucked. People have all these ideas about what a man is supposed to look like, or a woman, when... why should it matter? If a guy wants to have long hair —" She gestures toward him with one hand. "Or, I don't know, wear a skirt or nail polish or whatever, it doesn't make them any less who they are. Trying to fit into those tiny boxes is stifling."

Even for her, even since she transitioned, that's been the case. It's something she's still trying to work on, sorting through what femininity means for her rather than what she thinks it's supposed to mean, expressing it in her own way rather than trying to contort herself into some male-idealized version of womanhood.
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-10-13 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
"I'd rather tell you ahead of time than, like, keep it secret or whatever," Jules says with a shrug, though she gives him a smile, appreciating his response. "Some people can get weird about it. Acting like... I don't know, they've been tricked or something." Her nose wrinkles, making clear how she feels about that particular line of thought. It's all bullshit, but it's not like that's ever stopped anyone before. "Not that I would assume you'd do that, but, you know. I'd rather just tell you up front and get that out of the way."

Besides, while she would be perfectly content just to hang out for a while tonight, she can't say she would object to taking this somewhere private later. Eddie is cute, and he's fun and easy to talk to, and despite the sort of hilarious coincidence of his knowing Rue's girlfriend, this seems like exactly what she needs to take her mind off her ex.
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-11-07 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
"Yeah, I mean, it's kind of my one major dealbreaker," Jules says, teasingly self-deprecating. "Like, not even just for going out with someone, but being friends or whatever, too. It's too big, you know? Too important. If someone's not gonna be cool with that, I'm not gonna waste my time."

It may have taken her a long while to reach that place, to feel even a fraction that confident in her own skin. Now, though, it's perhaps the thing that comes easiest, that she's most sure about. Underneath her carefully chosen exterior, she may be a whole fucking mess of carefully hidden trauma and insecurity, but when it comes to this innate part of who she is, she's not going to fuck around with anyone's closed-mindedness or bigotry.

Eddie seems cool about it, though. Not that she assumed otherwise — she wouldn't be here if she had — but it's reassuring all the same. Looking at the club in question, she smiles approvingly. "Looks like a good choice."
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-11-19 07:06 am (UTC)(link)
Stamp on her hand aside, Jules decides quickly that it's kind of perfect. The music is loud enough that she can feel it pulsing through her body, loud enough to get lost to, and she has a cute guy to spend the evening with, one who doesn't seem bothered either by her technically being a minor or by her being trans. She's not looking for anything serious, she doubts he is either, but Eddie is cool, way more so than she would have expected from a random guy she spotted in the quad.

He would be even if he weren't offering to buy her a drink, though right now, that definitely helps. "I won't tell if you don't," she agrees, grinning at him, the distance between them slight. "Whatever you're having is fine."
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-12-05 08:06 am (UTC)(link)
The kiss is unexpected, but not at all unwelcome. Jules responds in kind, beaming to herself as Eddie heads toward the bar. Annoyingly careful as the employee by the door might have been, it's crowded enough in here that she doubts anyone will notice or care all that much about him bringing her a drink, and for a moment, waiting by the table where he left her, she lets herself think that this is sort of perfect. It's crowded and electric, the music is loud, Eddie is cute and he's understanding. All of it is just what she needs to keep herself distracted, to feel a little more like herself again.

"Thank you," she says, a hint of something mock-formal in her voice as she takes the bottle he's offered her, then sips from it. Ordinarily, she'd probably be a little more careful about drinking from something that she didn't see opened, but under the circumstances, she doesn't actually think she has anything to worry about. "Promise I won't rat you out for this."
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-12-19 07:54 am (UTC)(link)
"No, it's great," Jules agrees, a laugh in her voice, pitched loud enough to be heard over the music in question. Maybe it isn't what she would usually listen to on her own, but it's still good, and the vibe is pretty perfect. The company, too, is as good as she could have hoped for. All things considered, this might just be the best she's felt since she first turned up here. Granted, the bar is set really fucking low in that regard, but the fact remains that she really needed this.

"At the risk of sounding really fucking stupid or whatever, I'm really glad you called me."
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[personal profile] astheocean 2022-12-31 09:34 am (UTC)(link)
"Same," Jules says, shooting him a grin, one tinged with a self-deprecating sort of amusement. She is aware that it probably sounds a little ridiculous, just like she's also aware that that's probably exactly what they're doing here — having fun. The last thing she needs is to sound overly attached and risk ruining a good thing. This is just maybe the first good thing that's really happened since she got here, a breath of fresh fucking air after the way the last few weeks have gone.

She lifts her bottle toward him in a sort of mock-toast. "And not just because of this, though I'm definitely not complaining, either."