didntrun | (no subject)

Eventually, he tells Lestat he's ready to go home. Truthfully, he's still completely petrified, worried he'll do something stupid, hurt Chrissy without meaning to, but he's being sent home with a full belly, without the slightest bit of hunger pangs, and he's still himself.

It comes down to that every time he worries. He's still himself, he's just more.

But the more scares him. He can hear things now, peoples' thoughts, and it feels invasive and uncomfortable. He doesn't want to hear Chrissy's thoughts, he doesn't want her to ever be in a position where she has to worry he's listening in. There's also the matter of her being human, needing to exist in the sun, her life being normal and regular, not like his will be anymore. Yeah, he's still himself, but he can't go into the sun and he has to drink blood and he needs to sleep in a coffin.

Maybe not a coffin specifically, but all the light needs to be blocked. That's what Lestat has told him. The easiest way to get that level of safety is a coffin. That's going to be weird, having a coffin in their home, and he doesn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, so he's already thinking about putting it in an unused bedroom. God, he hopes Robin doesn't want to kick him out because of it, though he'd understand if she did.

It's dark, it's safe, and Eddie slinks home, gold eyes almost glowing in the dark. He realizes, once he's home, that he can't enter. He unlocks the door and swings it open and has to stand outside on the front step before he sends Chrissy a text.

u have to invite me in, babe

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All things considered, it hasn't really been that long. That it feels like much longer has less to do with how much time she usually spends with him and more to do with the circumstances and how worried she's been, first when she wound up back here without him, then after he told her what happened. Chrissy still has barely begun to make sense of her own feelings, relieved and uncertain and kind of freaked out, though more for his sake than her own. Eddie is still Eddie. She knows, she knows, that he would never hurt her.

For a long few moments, she stays right where she is, arms wrapped around him, face pressed into his neck. Stupidly, she feels like she might be about to cry, though she doesn't know why. He's here. He's different, but he's all right.

Maybe she shouldn't take that last part for granted. She leans back to look at him, eyes a little wide. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," he promises, holding her shoulders as she leans back. She feels so delicate under his hands and he studies her face for a long moment, memorizing all the added details of her, things his human eyes had never been able to see.

He stays out of her mind.

"I'm okay," he adds again, because he wants her to believe him. He wants to believe it and he thinks he does, even if there's still so much he has to learn. While he's still himself at the core, so much has changed, and he has to change with it.

"Hey, come in," Chrissy says again. Her head is a mess — not even in a bad way, not right now, with Eddie here in front of her, the proof she thinks she's needed that he's all right, he's safe, even if things are going to be irrevocably different. It's just a lot to take in, and she barely knows where to start. There isn't exactly any guidebook on what to do when one's boyfriend has become a vampire.

"I covered the windows in the bedroom," she tells him as she beckons him through the front door with her. "But obviously for now we can do whatever. It's just really good to have you back."

He’s not even ready to think about that, although he has to. Lestat has made that very clear, that he needs to be safe, that the safest way to sleep is in a sealed box. A coffin. It feels a little drastic, but Eddie also understands. The wood will protect him where fabric might not.

Still, he loves that she’s done this for him and as Eddie steps through the door, he smiles. Pale, his eyes slightly different, but still himself.

“Thanks,” he says. “There’s so much stuff I haven’t even thought about. Even after a month.”

"I think I've done nothing but think," Chrissy admits, sheepish, pulling a face as she looks up at Eddie. "Is that weird? It seems weird." It's been inevitable, though, somehow that much more so without him here. While they've texted plenty, the one lifeline to any sort of sanity she's had, it's still left her with too much time alone in her head, trying to plan and consider what happens next.

It's daunting, sort of terrifying, but Eddie isn't. Vampire or not, she stopped thinking of him as scary that day back in the woods.

"I just want you to still be comfortable here, I guess."

“It’s not weird,” Eddie says. It’s actually really comforting, knowing she’s been thinking about ways to make this easier for him. For them both.

He’s been trying, too. Making sure he knows how to control himself, how to keep himself from going into her mind, how to keep them both safe. He feels confident, but knows he’ll always have to be at least a little bit on guard.

“I appreciate it,” he says and smiles at her. “It means a lot.

On a whim, Chrissy pushes up to her toes again so she can press a quick, soft kiss to his cheek. His skin is cool against her mouth. It's not entirely unexpected, but it is just one more slight change to start getting used to. Still, when she settles back on her heels, the way she looks at him is the same as ever, all gentle affection.

"Remember when you asked me if I would still love you if you were a worm?" she asks, the corners of her mouth pulling the slightest bit higher. "Turns out I still love you when you're a vampire."

Eddie laughs, weirdly relieved, and he knows this isn’t going to be as simple as this. He knows it’s still going to be hard for them both, but he’s so relieved to hear those words.

“I love you, too,” he says and then exhales deeply, even though he technically doesn’t need to. “I’m really glad I didn’t turn into a worm, though.”