didntrun | [christmas eve]

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chrissy

[christmas eve]

On the morning of December twenty-fourth, Eddie panics.

He'd asked Chrissy if she'd want to hang out, do something for Christmas, and he'd tried to make it sound as casual as possible, because he knows there's no way she could ever like him. Not the way he likes her, which he knows for certain now after their kiss, even though it had been framed as friends rescuing each other. That should be enough, he knows, to just be her friend, and it is. It's enough.

It still makes hanging out with her difficult at times. He'll get over it, but for right now, every time he sees her, he thinks of the kiss up at Kagura and how warm her mouth had felt against his. The scent of her shampoo or perfume or maybe even just soap, he doesn't know what it had been, only that he'd felt like he could drown in it. He thinks of the light touch of her hand on his arm and he knows he can't think all this stuff if they're going to keep being friends.

So they're friends. They're just friends, but Eddie is still panicked, realizing he's invited her to come over to his place on Christmas Eve, only it looks like a twenty-year-old single guy lives here and he can't let her see his place like this. She hadn't judged the trailer, but honestly, she'd had a lot going on at the time and he could blame that on Wayne. This mess is his fault, though, and so Eddie throws himself into cleaning for perhaps the first time in his life.

When that's done, he goes to get groceries. Maybe it's a mistake on Christmas Eve, the stores are crazy busy, but he needs to have something at his place. He doesn't really know how to cook, so he gets the most expensive frozen pizzas, figuring they're probably the best quality, and he gets snacks, and he gets soft drinks and iced tea and on a whim, he grabs a string of white Christmas lights that are marked down to forty percent off, due to it being so late in the season.

Back home, the groceries get put away and Eddie doesn't have a tree, so he strings the lights up over the window behind the couch, then plugs them in to make sure they work. When he turns off the rest of the lights, they make the apartment glow and, for the first time, it actually feels like Christmas.

On the coffee table sits the one thing he's had ready all this time. A neatly wrapped box with a bow on top, Chrissy's name scrawled in his writing on the tag. Inside is her gold chain, the one she had given him, but the pendant has changed. Around his neck, he still wears the gold 86 alongside his pick. In the box is a similar pendant now, but this one is a 23.

This next year is her year. He can feel it.

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"Wait, I think I actually do remember that," Chrissy says, surprised and amused by this revelation. She wouldn't have known at the time that Eddie was dating her, and if she's honest, she doesn't think she even remembers Kelly herself. The incident itself, though, rings a bell. Someone getting punched in the cafeteria tends to be a pretty big deal, the sort of thing that might dominate the rumor mill for a week or two.

Thinking about that now, she feels an odd sort of relief at the fact that she doesn't have to deal with any of that anymore, that they won't have to deal with anything of the sort here. She would have, if this had happened in Hawkins instead; he's worth it. Still, if there's one thing she doesn't miss, it's the constant scrutiny she faced and the feeling that she would never live up to what anyone wanted her to be.

"I've had... a few boyfriends?" she admits in turn, unsure how much or how little attention he might have paid to any of that. "Jason, obviously. I actually went out with Steve for a little while when I was a freshman. A couple others in between. But nothing that ever really... meant anything." She was always just doing what she thought she should be doing, telling herself that she felt the way she should feel. This, from the start, has been utterly different. She leans over a little, and when she kisses him this time, it's soft and chaste, her lips pressing to the corner of his mouth. "And I happen to like you a lot, Eddie Munson."

"The guy deserved it, too, he was spreading all these rumours about this other girl," Eddie says. "He was a shit."

And Kelly had never been able to stay quiet about stuff like that. She might have seemed scary, but she stuck up for people, and she'd been well liked for it, even if it was a quiet sort of respect. Like Chrissy, Eddie still isn't sure why she'd liked him so much. It's something they have in common, two very cool girls who are much too good for him, although he already knows he was never this head over heels for Kelly.

"Steve told me you guys went out," Eddie says, grinning and slipping his arm around Chrissy. His pizza is mostly forgotten at this point, much too focused on the girl sitting beside him. "This was, um... a few months back. I got all weird and defensive, like why are you telling me, I don't have any claim on her, we're just friends and he was definitely not fooled."

It doesn't surprise Chrissy to hear that, whoever he was, he was spreading some kind of rumors. There was a lot of that around Hawkins High. Sometimes she doesn't know how she managed to avoid becoming a target of it, except that she was always hyper-cautious, always so painfully aware of how everything she did might be perceived, afraid and certain that it could all come toppling down at the slightest crack in her façade. Popularity, she has thought repeatedly, is a double-edged sword, providing a sort of social protection at the cost of such increased scrutiny.

And yet, that day in the woods, Eddie looked right at her and saw her, called her a freak like it was the best thing he could say about a person, didn't judge her for being a paranoid wreck or any of the rest of it. It was probably inevitable even then that she would come to feel about him the way she does.

Having those feelings apparently reciprocated is still the most surprising part, Eddie's comment drawing a quiet laugh from her. "Months? Really?" she asks, tipping her head up to look at him from where she's tucked against his side. "And all that time, I had no idea, just thinking there was no way you could like me, too."

Edited 2023-02-22 08:05 (UTC)

"I mean..." Eddie shrugs, rolling one shoulder, and grins. "Pretty much since the day we met up in the woods."

The way she had laughed, smiled at him, cracked jokes and seemed to relax, he'd been kind of smitten right off. At the time, he'd just told himself he was an idiot, she had a boyfriend, she'd never go for someone like him, but it hadn't mattered. Boyfriend or not, he'd wanted her to go for him.

If the whole thing hadn't gotten all fucked up and they were still in Hawkins, he wonders if they'd have gotten their shit together. He hopes so. He thinks so.

"You ever just meet someone and feel instantly at ease like... this one, this is one of my people?" he asks, reaching up to touch a strand of hair that's curling softly against her cheek. "That's how I felt."

A few months ago, Chrissy wouldn't have had the first idea what he meant. Everyone in her social circle at school, the girls she was on the cheer squad with, even the other students in her dance classes before that, she never felt a real connection to them. It's on her, of course, she knows. She always had a wall up, always tried to be who people wanted her to be rather than who she really was; even now, she's not always sure she knows who that is. With Eddie, though, it's like he saw right through her from the start. She hadn't known how good that would feel. From anyone else, she doubts it would have.

"I have, yeah," she says softly, her expression all fond, leaning the slightest bit into his hand when his finger brushes her cheek. Earlier, at the door, the same sort of gesture had mortified her. Now that she doesn't have to try to hide the way she feels, it's a whole different story. "It was like that for me, too. I mean... there I was, in the middle of the worst day of my life, and then suddenly, there's you. Making me smile when I didn't even think I could."

Even now, she's not sure she can really say how much that meant to her. It's something, though. "I don't think I really realized yet what I was feeling, but it was definitely there."

Edited 2023-02-28 02:59 (UTC)

Eddie had just been himself that day. Silly, a little performative, but it had been for her sake. Within seconds, it had been obvious how anxious she was, that something bigger was going on, something she felt she couldn't tell anyone and Eddie had known it wouldn't be as simple as getting her to spill her guts. There would be no reason for Chrissy to tell him anything.

Making her laugh, though, and putting her at ease. That was something he could do for her.

"I'm glad it worked," he says, laying his palm fully against her cheek. Her skin is so soft under the callouses of his fingers, he can't get over it. "Making you laugh, I mean. It was kind of the only thing I wanted to do. You seemed... sad."

"I was," Chrissy replies, letting her cheek rest in his hand. It's nice, the way he touches her, quietly electric, new but something that feels right all at the same time. Unexpected as this turn of events may be, that part doesn't surprise her. Being around Eddie has always been like that, since the day in the woods currently in question. Then, she really couldn't have seen it coming — not with the person she'd thought he was, and not with everything she was going through at the time.

It's not like it started with what Eddie called Vecna, though. Normally, she doesn't talk about the rest of it at all, keeps it all to herself, but with him, it's easier to be a little more honest. "I... I think I'd been sad for a really long time. No one else ever saw it. Saw me."

They saw what she wanted them to see. She can't fault them for that. She also can't pretend it didn't mean the world to her to have someone see past that façade for the first time.

"Yeah, well..." Eddie chews on his lower lip a little, mouth twisted to one side, then he shrugs. "I get that."

Hawkins had been the same for him. Most people looked at Eddie, took him in in a glance, and made up their mind. The Freak. The Weirdo. He had learned into it because he felt like there really wasn't another option for him, not given his whole situation, and maybe Chrissy had, too. What she'd been leaning into was different, that's all, but at the end of it, they'd both been doing the same thing.

"You don't have to do that with me," he promises. "I like you exactly as you are. Way more of a freak than anyone back home ever realized." He grins then, reminding her it's a compliment, and ducks his head to brush his mouth against hers.

"I know," Chrissy says, soft and close against his mouth. It's one of the things that first made her like being around him so much, the way she's never once felt — aside from hiding her crush on him — that she had to be anything but herself around Eddie. She doesn't think there's ever been anyone else she could say the same about. "That I don't have to do that with you, I mean."

There are still things she doesn't know how to talk about, things she's reluctant to do anything but keep to herself. Even so, who she is when she's with him is the most real she's ever been.

She huffs out a breathless laugh then, still a little incredulous. "And now I don't have to try to pretend like I'm not crazy into you, either."

"Yeah," he agrees. "Me neither."

It still feels surreal, like they've done something impossible. Flipped off the entirety of Hawkins just in getting together and while that's not why Eddie likes Chrissy and is glad they're here now, it's kind of a cool side effect. No one would expect it and everyone would think it was totally insane.

Which doesn't matter at all. They could think whatever they wanted, it wouldn't change his mind.

"Crazy into me, huh?" he asks, grinning. "Does that mean like, a lot, or that you're crazy to be into me at all?"

"Like, a lot," Chrissy answers with a laugh, her smile a little embarrassed, though warm and unrestrained. There are, she's sure, a lot of people who would think she's crazy for being into him at all, but if anything, the way she sees it, it's the other way around. Eddie is cute and he's kind, he makes her smile and encourages her to be herself and sees her in a way no one else ever has. Of course she likes him. Chances are, it was inevitable that she would do so from the first moment he met her in the woods.

She eases back just enough that she can reach for her glass of iced tea and take a sip, though she's still looking at him as she does, indescribably fond and a touch amused. "And for a long time. Like... You remember a few months ago, that night we went and got drunk in the cemetery? I first wanted to tell you just to come over to my place, but then I was worried... either you'd think I was making a move and turn me down, or it wouldn't even occur to you to think of me like that at all. And I wasn't sure which would be worse."

"I think my brain would have exploded if I thought you were making a move," he admits. "First I would've thought I was crazy. Just reading into things. And then if it was clear, yeah. Explosion, man."

He makes an exploding sound and uses his fingers beside his temple to indicate what it would have been like.

"But I never would have turned you down," he says, grinning. "You might have had to give me CPR or pick me up off the floor, but once I regained consciousness, my first words would have been yes please." The idea that she likes him, that he gets to date her, it really is blowing his mind.

"Well, yeah, I'm starting to pick up on that now," Chrissy says, laughing as she does, looking nothing short of delighted. If anyone has gone crazy here, she's still pretty sure it's her, but there is something amusing, almost endearing, about the fact that they both cluelessly felt the same way about each other for months. At least they're here now, anyway, no longer having to question such things. Any self-consciousness she still feels is more from the rush of all of this than anything else, the fact that it still has yet to sink in. "But I didn't have any idea then."

It's deeply tempting to take full advantage of that, to lean over and make out with him a little more. They probably should keep eating before the pizza gets cold, though, so instead, she elbows him playfully in the side. "Definitely something I'll have to keep in mind."

"Ouch, I can't believe my new girlfriend is already taking advantage of my soft side," Eddie answers, but he's grinning as he picks up his slice of pizza and takes a big bite. How could he not smile after all this? Everything that's happened in the last half hour is incredible and even if it hadn't ended this way, he still would have been glad she was here tonight.

It's nice to not be alone on Christmas.

"Do you wanna stay?" he asks, then realizes how that sounds. "I mean, I'll take the couch, you can take the bed. Just so we're not... y'know, on our own on Christmas morning. I know we already did presents, but we could... I dunno, go see a movie or something."

It's sweet, Chrissy thinks, how he asks and doesn't just assume. Granted, with as well as she thinks she's come to know Eddie, she isn't entirely surprised that's the case, especially after he let her stay here the night she first arrived. Still, it was different between them then, and in her experience, guys who've asked her out have then immediately assumed they'd get her in bed. For all that she is very much attracted to Eddie, she likes that it isn't like that with him. Just one more way in which he makes her feel seen, like an actual person, rather than simply her appearance and her popularity.

"No, that sounds really nice," she says, giving him a soft smile. "I'd like that. And you don't have to sleep on the couch, I mean, unless you want to." She's slept in his bed before, after all. It should be big enough for them both, she thinks, even if all they do is just sleep beside each other.

His smile blooms, simple and pleased, and he nods. There really isn't anything on his mind besides just having her here and being with her tomorrow morning, too, but it does make him feel better, knowing she knows that.

"I just don't want you to feel like... well, you know," he says. He doesn't have to explain. Chrissy is a girl, she's probably dealt with plenty of guys who want something from her and it's not that he doesn't, he just wants her to feel like they can do whatever they want when they want. No specific plans and definitely no pressure.

"It'll be cool. Really cool. Having you here in the morning. Just more Christmas, right?"

"More Christmas," Chrissy echoes, returning his smile, half aware of the conversation George Bailey is having on the screen in the background. Sitting here with Eddie, making plans for tomorrow, it even feels like Christmas in a way she's not wholly accustomed to, everything warm and the apartment illuminated in the soft glow of the lights by the window, her heart fluttering in her chest. To her, the idea that she could possibly have not wanted something more than a friendship with him is patently absurd. He's sweet and thoughtful; he makes her laugh but takes her seriously, and especially when he smiles in earnest, he's ridiculously cute.

There's nothing not to want, except, perhaps, the disapproval of her parents and dissolution of her reputation and social standing. Even if they were in a place where any of that were even a factor, though, she'd choose him over all of it without hesitation. If they'd had the chance back in Hawkins, she thinks the same would have been true.

"I don't. Feel like that," she adds, because he should know that she doesn't feel pressured or like he's made certain assumptions that so many guys make. "It'll be nice." She huffs out a laugh then, gestures to the narrow skirt of the dress she's wearing. "I might have to borrow your clothes again, though."

"That's cool," he says. "You look cuter in my t-shirts than I do."

More than anything, Eddie is really glad she understands he's not saying any of this because he's trying to get in her pants. The way Chrissy looks, her big eyes, her soft mouth, the fact that she was so popular, Eddie knows all that adds up to a lot of high school guys trying to get somewhere so they can brag about it.

He's never been like that. First, given the girls he's been with -- and the two guys who were mostly awkward about the fumbles -- they'd all have kicked his ass if he had behaved that way. And second, he's pretty sure Wayne would have given him that disappointed look, which was always worse than a real punishment.

"Shit," he says after a second, then breaks into a grin. "I just realized I'm gonna have to actually clean my apartment regularly now."

Chrissy feels her cheeks warm a little when he says she looks cuter in his shirts than he does. That first day she was here, when she had nothing to wear but her cheer uniform and he lent her a t-shirt to wear, she thinks there'd been something then, a flustered feeling that she'd been too shaken and too tired to let herself acknowledge. She'd certainly been more than a little embarrassed about being seen like that the next day, knowing full well what it looked like and that it wasn't actually like that at all.

She supposes it is like that now. Even if all they do is sleep in the same bed, if she leaves here tomorrow, whenever, in a shirt of his, she'll be wearing her boyfriend's shirt, and won't have any reason to be defensive about it.

"You don't have to go out of your way for me," she tells him. "Really. Or if you're really worried about it, you can always come to my place if you don't feel like cleaning."

"Nah, I'm just teasing," he answers. Back in Hawkins, yeah, he hadn't bothered much with it. Wayne hadn't either, he'd been too busy making sure they could pay the rent on the trailer and that they had food in the fridge. And Eddie was... well, he was Eddie. Kind of a fuck up, mostly a freak, and not at all concerned with house keeping.

It'll be different here. He has a place of his own and he knows how rare that can be for some people. He's not going to mess it up.

"I did okay this time, didn't I?" he teases.

"You did great," Chrissy says, nudging his shoulder with her own as she looks around the room again. It's funny, the difference one string of lights can make. Maybe it's the knowledge that it's Christmas Eve, maybe it's the unexpected turn tonight has taken, but it all feels sort of magical. She's pretty sure it still would have even if he hadn't straightened up beforehand.

Or maybe it's just that she's pretty crazy about him, enough that she would feel like this regardless of the state of his apartment.

"Really, this... It's a pretty perfect Christmas Eve."

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[christmas eve]

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